“The Game Plan 2013” is motivated by the Sarrano Kelley book, The Game: Win Your Life in 90 Days. I have played it once before and it was a GREAT tool to help me focus on personal goals. It helped me focus on making my goals S.M.A.R.T. and also to keep me on track when things were VERY hectic for me at the time.
You choose 3-6 games to play to improve your life. They are all covered in the book, and here is a list:
The Game List
– Balance
– My Body and Health
– My Money
– My Relationships
– My Spiritual Life
– My Mind
– My Tools
– My Environment
– My Education
– My Family
– My Work
– My Charities
– My Hobbies, Interests and Art
I HIGHLY encourage as many as are willing to join in The Game Plan 2013 and grow with me!
For all who participate, I already have a Private, Invitation only WordPress Blog set up. There, we will make daily blog entries where we can hold each other accountable to our goals, and to encourage, and seek encouragement to reach our goals. The goals can be as simple as saving for the weekend vacation, or losing a couple of percent of body fat. The blog, again, is already set up, and you will only be able to access it if you are invited. This is why you will need a WordPress account. (It’s free, just sign up already!)
I am making the announcement now so you have time to prepare. Prepare by ordering the book on Amazon, and begin reading it. I suggest giving it a good read at the intro, scan the games sections, and really read the conclusions. Then, decide on your games, reread those sections, and take note of the tools and suggestions/tables, etc that are offered! I can even start a book discussion thread on The Game Plan 2013 Blog (that is the name of the invitation only blog). You also need to make your WordPress account and give me your email to send you the invite!
Before The Game Plan 2013 begins on 1 Feb, Everyone should have some sort of template, or blog journal/statement of Games, Goals and Objectives listed that each person wants to be held accountable for. Email this to me in a doc/docx format and I will start a new thread with it. That will become your progress thread, where we can see what you want to be held accountable for.
This is a “Game” about positive growth, support, accountability and working for improved life! I have high hopes and hope to have as many on board as possible! NOBODY is TOO BUSY for this! IS your life perfect? If it is, congratulations and please join to help guide the rest of us! If it is not, please join us and know you are helping to build your life and obtain your goals!
Please, do not hesitate to send me any questions, comments, or concerns. I look forward to an Amazing Game Plan 2013!
The Chicken or the Egg? Are positive people successful or are successful people positive?
Too much too fast? Ok, I’ll slow it down and just say it, all in one! People with positive attitudes are successful people! Or, perhaps it is more accurate to say: People with a positive (yet realistic) attitude and outlook are more likely to achieve success than those who have a negative outlook on things. This positive attitude and general happy demeanor comes before the success, and then only feeds the success in a great, success & positivity circle!
I really wanted to pull up some measurable and relatable statistics that correlate a defined “positive attitude” or at least a defined list of behaviors that can be described as those exhibited by one with a positive attitude – and their correlation to benefits. Well – Being as I am a full time Real Estate agent in my first year, I am too cheap to pay for the access of the scholarly articles that will display any of that information. So, for the most part, any of my statements in this article are some sort of loosely-tied, personally bought-into ideas between my personal experiences, observations, and the thoughts and theories I’ve read in a myriad of books on business and psychology.
Short Answer – Positive People do more; thus creating more positive; thus getting more out of life.
– Positive people do things for others. There is nothing better about being in a good mood than sharing the good mood with others and seeing positivity passed on. Think about it, when you get good news and are smiling ear-to-ear, how hard is it NOT to tell someone and NOT expect to see them smile and excited for you? We WANT to pass on the positive feelings!
– Positive people set goals. We’ve all heard or even said “I feel like I could take on the world right now!” It’s a perfect example of how a positive attitude will influence someone to reach for a goal that he would otherwise not have the motivation to WORK towards!
– Positive people have less negative self-talk. Forgive the lack of citations, but feel free to google all the articles on Self-Talk. Negative self-talk is the top inhibitor of ambition! Positive people reword their self-talk, taking the same could-be negative experiences and turning them into a positive opportunity. (e.g. Negative: “I’ve never done this before” => ‘I don’t wanna’ v. Positive “What an opportunity to try something new!” => ‘Let’s do this’)
– Positive people have an internal locus of control. Positive people take responsibility for their influence on life and their own actions. They more often see consequences as a result of their own influences on the situation and that they had an impact in how a situation turned out. (e.g. Neg: “That was just a bad recipe, IT made the cookies too crisp” V. Pos: “I think I cooked them too long; I can check on them sooner next time, but this batch will be GREAT with ice cream”).
– Positive people seek due credit given to those around them, not for themselves. Positive people are confident with their self and are always looking to grow and bring others with them. Not to mention, a good leader is more focused on those she can develop, not how to simply excel herself. A positive person is more likely to deflect a compliment for a professional accomplishment toward the team’s actions. Not only is it a sign of confidence, but also a sign that the person will more than likely have others around when he needs them – reciprocity is a great thing!
– Positive people are magnets for other successful people. Positive people like to be challenged, grow, and all the while enjoy the synergetic power of other positive people where 1+1=10 (See Stephen Covey’s The 3rd Alternative). It’s like going to the gym with a work out partner that is just as excited to see you push your limits as you are to see him do the same. You just work harder – again reaching new levels of performance that you are consequently HAPPY about!
I hope you have enjoyed this year’s entries and ideas from LifeByDamien.com. It was my first year, and a complete year of running my own blog. Needless to say, I have lots to learn. Reflecting, I have found myself to be more productive and more active in my blog when I am reading more often. Perhaps that will be something I contribute to my “Game Plan” that I will be pursuing at the beginning of 2013.
I hope you have been able to take away value from what you have found here – be you a repeated visitor, or this being your first read. Whether you agree or disagree – I consider it a success if anything you read hear at least provoked thought and hopefully some sort of action in your life – it certainly has for mine!
My Wife says I’m insensitive… I say it’s not my fault my grandmother had a refrigerator!
Fighting Fifth Marine Rgt – Beach BBQ 2007
To please my on-going fascination with behavioral psychology & general interest into why people behave the way they do and further to find out what motivates the behavior, I have recently grown more attentive to the conversations that hide in plain sight – Body Language. I have found it very interesting and have read a couple of books on the topic. The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease, and What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro. I suppose my curiosity to human behavior, the motivators, and how to read it might be tied to my love for understanding consumer trends, and for leading others. Being able to accurately read what people are saying without words is a vital skill to social life – and perhaps survival in general.
This skill to communicate through the understanding of the body language we display and receive is not anything new to us, as humans or even as mammals. I’ve seen it referred to as implicit communication, emotional intelligence, interpersonal skills (a new HR/recruiting hot-term), social skills, etc. There is much to be said on the topic, and I by no means am a professional or expert. However, I do feel I have noticed a trend – the greater “Social” media has become a part of our lives, the greater the focus on “Emotional Intelligence” and “Interpersonal Skills” in the work-force. I have to wonder if it is looked for with more ferocity now because we, as developing and technologically advanced people, are less frequently able to apply interpersonal skills – in person. Do we over-interact virtually, and under-interact face-to-face?
I have no hard evidence, nor am I in a University Laboratory and able to spend the time and resources to gather the data and write a scholarly article to say one way or another. I can say, that since Sears-Roebuck made home deliveries possible thanks to the railroad, and shortly after refrigerators became a household product in the 1920s and 1930s, our social interaction became limited by design. We no longer had to make daily trips for perishables from a market where we interacted, face-to-face. Nor did we need help to haul large items because they could be delivered from catalog. Recently, since Facebook, and Myspace were launched in 2004, and the ever growing online forums and communities, not only do we not have to go out for necessities that limits our chances to interact, we don’t even have to go out to “interact”!
Could this be why we now need so much instruction to understand “Emotional Intelligence”, or why we have to be educated on “Interpersonal Skills”?
For those who have followed, my transition from being an Active Duty Marine for over 9 years – to becoming a constructive member of society as a civilian – has been quite the life experience in and of itself. The more time passes, the more it seems that a lot of the transition friction comes from the disbelief that I no longer wear the uniform. It is so shocking because I never thought I’d feel that way. However, last night, I got to experience my first Marine Corps Birthday celebration, cake cutting, and honoring of traditions, as a civilian – amongst a group of Brother-Strangers, also known as Marine Veterans.
It was quite the experience, to sit, stand, talk, drink, embrace, listen, share stories, see memories relived through story, and generations of traditions right in front of me. The group has no “official” affiliation, it simply has a commitment to meeting once a year, to celebrate the Marine Corps Birthday, and started with the traditions of a group of Marines from Woodside, Queens. Of which, even within the same elementary school, has reared two Congressional Medal of Honor Recipients, Navy Cross, Bronze Stars, and more. The Woodside neighborhood has more military awards than any zip code in the Nation, or so I was taught last night. I invite Malcolm Gladwell to add to this neighborhood to his studies as a lost chapter to his book “Outliers”. This group of Marines has extended its annual celebration to anyone who has felt the brim of a campaign cover on the bridge of their nose.
The event took place at a great, Marine-Veteran owned Italian restaurant in Chelsea, Manhattan. The event coordinated by another Marine Businessman. There was a Marine Birthday Cake, The reading of John A. Lejeune’s Birthday Message, reading of the Commandant’s Birthday Message, we honored the MIA/POW table, taps was played, and amongst grown men, tears were wiped away. More stories were shared, connections made, and help offered. As once, and as always: Marines looking out for the Marine to their right and to their left.
I had only met 2 out of the 20 or so Marines there. All serving from the Korean War, to just returning from the War on Terror in Afghanistan. There were two, father-son, Marine-legacies across generations. I should have never been as surprised as I was, but for a brief period of one evening, I felt at home amongst would be “strangers”. I should have never been surprised… they were never strangers, they were my brothers. They were, and forever will be – Marines.
Starbucks, Macy’s, Dunkin Donuts, McDonald’s, Party City, Game Stop, Modell’s Sporting Goods, New York & Co, Motherhood Maternity, Dress Barn, Payless Shoes – All could stand to learn a lesson from Wal-Mart.
Wal-Mart has been trying to establish its brand within New York City since 2005 – and has yet to gain a foothold. Its opposition has been at the conglomerate of unions, citizens and local businesses through-out the city. While the major retailer and largest private employer in the nation’s existence within NYC is controversial, I am not going to take one side or the other. However, I do believe Wal-Mart, as even one of the largest retailers in the world understands how important it is to be a part of, and accepted by the communities that generate each location’s revenues. (New York Times: 2012)
I took my kids trick-or-treating in the Parkchester region of the Bronx, NY. The neighborhood is quite diverse, and knowing which house is celebrating, or if the building is even a house, or just a single front door with many apartment doors behind it is a bit of a guessing game. With that being the norm, it has been tradition that all the trick-or-treaters go business-to-business, versus house-to-house. I was able to pick up a bit of a mildly surprising, and disappointing trend.
Nearly ALL of the “Mom & Pap” type shops were active and involved in the festivities, anxious to hand out candy and participate in the excitement of the kids and adolescents involved! That is not the disappointing part. What was disappointing was that the majority of big brands and major retailers did not participate (all mentioned at the opening of this article), and simply hung “No Candy” or “No More Candy” signs (We were out from 4:30-5:30pm).
Why does this bother me? As a Dad, I want to see my kids enjoy the festivities and be as excited and involved by a huge community event! It is not often we get to see so many of the youth of our community out for a common cause, and I wanted them to have the best time with it! As a marketer, I feel like these major brands missed what would normally be a good opportunity, but under current conditions, was a HUGE opportunity.
NYC was just hit by what may be the WORST environment and economically damaging natural disaster in its history, Tropical Super Storm Sandy! Halloween, 31 October 2012, was the first day that retailers had a chance to show to the members of their communities that they were a PART OF THE COMMUNITY, to be there and understand the hardships, struggles, and perserverence to move forward with everyone in the community. The gesture would have been possible with the simple gesture of partaking in the festivities at an EXTREMELY low cost (and likely a great marketing opportunity to include a leaflet or flyer; isn’t black Friday just right around the corner???). I could continue, but I really feel like the brands missed the mark on this one. Was it the brand and the big wigs behind the big names, or was it a failure at decentralized leadership at the ground level? Likely a combination of both.
So it’s been a while! Needless to say, I’ve had my hands full, adjusting to my new life. It is easier in so many ways that I didn’t expect, and more difficult in so many ways that I couldn’t have expected. However, in the last couple of weeks, I have realized that there is one thing that is always under my own control and that I MUST maintain… a positive mental attitude!
I’m making this one quick, so I can’t pull up and cite studies (perhaps I will later in a more in-depth article), but a positive, can-do attitude works wonders in the ability to achieve results. Or even take it a step back. People around you enjoy being around you more when you are in a good mood! Really, when was the last time you looked at the person in the room with the bad-mood and said “Hi Friend, you just made my day so much better and have filled the room with energy!”? I’m going to guess that has never happened. It is more likely, that even against your own will, the other person with a negative attitude affected your mood, in a negative way.
When was the last time you saw a colleague walk by with a pep in her step, a smile on her face, and a few minutes later you felt like you no longer needed that second espresso-boosted coffee? If having a positive attitude doesn’t directly allow you to achieve more, it definitely promotes energy and positive attitudes in those around you. If those around you have more energy and a positive attitude, then you will be in a more productive and happier environment!
Don’t be the one who brings the crowd down… unfold your arms, share a smile and enjoy good things!
What is the one thing you have given up on changing within yourself? Really identify the one thing that just hasn’t seemed to be “changeable”…. And make a commitment to change it. It may be one of the biggest struggles you endure, and it may result in some of the most pitiful failures mounted within yourself. But once you find the way to change what you, yourself, though couldn’t be changed, about yourself… then you have proven that change CAN happen, if you really want it to.
Some of us, I included, have come upon things in our own lives that we have neglected to tend to. Some things that need change are easier left to be, than they are to shake things up. I bring this up because ignoring small things, can easily lead down a slippery slope to the point of inability to affect things that absolutely need change… such as “bad” habits, learned behaviors – and addictions.
This all came to mind when I was on the train today, 25 June 2012, and I saw the same man, for a second time, pitching the same plea for food and money. He pleads to the mercy and good nature of those on the subway to believe that he is in a place that is of no fault of his own, and that he only needs help for the moment. I was annoyed the first time I saw him a few weeks ago. But today, I was angered.
I am not an expert, but I have seen my fair share of life… this man is not just homeless by random acts of economy. He is homeless because his drug addiction, I’m near certain is meth, has become his priority in life. His own health, life, or the lives of those who love him, care about him, do know him now or have loved him, mean nothing in comparison to his next high. He has lost the ability to change the “unchangeable”. Yet, he still pleads to the mercy and good nature of random strangers to help him… even though he isn’t capable of taking the most important steps to help himself.
I’ll be honest, at this point… I have complete disregard for someone like him to find help for the sake of his own self. But I do have sympathy for those that care about him. I care to see him find help, not as much to stop his own pain, but to stop the pain of those that have lost him. Because let’s be honest, to his family, and friends… he is all but gone.
This strikes a personal cord with me. And mentioning it may not excite members of my family. My own father has been diagnosed with paranoid-schizophrenia. But I have good reason to believe, his rapid and sharp decline in health, starting about 16 years ago was a product of drug use. I am old enough to remember how amazing he was, how much he meant to me, and how I will always compare my abilities as a father to his… or at least what I remember from the age of 6 (which was the last time I ever lived with him). I saw him again when I was 9, for a weekend visit. Then didn’t see him again until I was 14 for Thanksgiving… by then he wasn’t the same person, and was on medication for the schizophrenia.
I have not seen him in the 14 years since, during which time I’ve only had a handful of phone calls. He doesn’t believe I am actually alive. He has never met his grand-children. He doesn’t know that the sacrifices he made, have made such a life-long impact on me, for the better… all instilled by the time I was 6. He doesn’t know how many times I have needed him or how many times I will hope to be as good of a father as I remember him to be. And now I have no way of ensuring he knows it.
The lifestyle lived and choices my father made 20-25 years ago, were never lived or made with the intent of today’s outcome. My father never knew he was on nor intended on traveling a slippery slope to land himself in the place he is now… nor did the man on the train that needs help from others that he can’t get for himself.
In 25 years, how do you want your impact remembered? …because – Today counts.
It has been a while since my last article. For that I admit my faults in being delayed. I will do my best to excuse myself, being that I have been very much consumed in the transition of going from military professional, to business professional. I’ve stepped into a completely new world, and have so much to learn.
That being said, I’d like to start off with today’s article with an introduction. I call it “Part 2 – Courage” even though if you scour the archives, I have never written a “Part 1”. Or maybe I have…
“Honor, Courage & Commitment” is uttered as a motto for the Marine Corps, the Navy, and various versions have been used through-out the world. My article, Do What You’re ‘posed To Do, was really about commitment. This article, less ambiguously, will be about “courage”. At some point, I will finish the 3 part series with “Honor”.
I’ve heard many meanings and definitions of “courage”: Moral Courage, physical courage, mental and emotional courage. I’ve heard it described as, “Doing the right thing when nobody is looking”; “doing the right thing just because it is the right thing”; “persevering in the face of adversity and fear”; “facing your fears” and “not just not being afraid, but admitting you ARE afraid, and facing the challenge regardless”.
I can say, I feel like I’ve come across a time in my life where I have faced a test of my own courage. I couldn’t tell you what definition it falls under, but I will admit it has, is and will continue to be tested. Each day presents itself with new challenges. However, the challenges are only new to me… the same hurdles to many others around me… aren’t really hurdles at all. I guess you could say recently I have been facing the challenges of being a rookie – in a sport I’ve never played. It is extremely shocking because I have gone from a place where I was nearly masterful at my trade, and often looked to for advise, mentorship, guidance and wisdom in my trade. Now, I feel so very lacking in all of the fore-mentioned departments.
Going from one end to the other so drastically has created one of the biggest challenges I think I might have faced yet. Being able to understand and retain my self-worth, while not inversely over-inflating my ego and feeling like I am “too good” for anything is difficult. It is tough. I can’t say what else it would be, other than courage that I face the new challenges. There seems to be a struggle between self-belief and accepting/understanding of reality. To what extent do I chase the dream and high-expectations that I have set? Am I on the right path to find them? Or was it all just a lie?
It is here. In this place — I find a major test of courage. Being able to hold on to a dream, not just dream but hold the conviction, swallow the pride, and continue to persevere to obtain the “dream” and make it reality. Did I step onto the right path? I don’t know – but if I didn’t, perhaps I will build one.
This week’s article is less of an article and more about a reflection. As a part of my career development and transition into the “civilian” world after 9-years of Active Duty military service, I have been doing my best to review and evaluate the actions I have taken that provided the most assistance and value as a part of the transition process.
As some of you already know, I am passionate about marketing, about the constant problem solving it requires. There is always something to be solved, inferred, and identified. Always brainstorming, and always learning. I love it. I feel more and more passionate about Marketing, Public Relations, and the psychology behind it all. Marketing isn’t just knowing who to sell to… it’s about knowing people, or persons, and specifically individual persons. My continuous study in marketing and human behavior has led to a recent fascination in profiling. Profiling itself is a subject for its own discussion, but the idea behind it is still so exciting.
Marketing isn’t just knowing how to make someone think they want what you have to offer… it’s actually offering what people really want while providing increasingly demanded value, and superior quality.
Below is an “Occupational Analysis” I wrote as I was graduating from CSU San Marcos with a B.S. in Business Administration. I keep it, in printed copy with a binder I refer to as my, “Portfolio” which I completed, and others can do so as well, by following the Trek Tasks in Troy Nielson’s helpful and easy to follow career development book, “Career Trek: The Journey Begins“. It sheds light into both objective analysis and personal, psychological benefits I find in the marketing profession, as well a some of my own personal insights on what Marketing means to me.
In the 9 years I have spent in the Marine Corps, if there was anything I’ve learned that the military, and Marine Corps specifically, produces aside from a healthy installment of arrogance…err – confidence, are leaders. We boast about making boys and girls into men and women and men and women into leaders of Marines. The Basic School’s “Basic Officer’s Course” that all Marine Officers attend to start their military careers as leaders is touted as “The World’s Best Leadership Course”. Recently I’ve come to question if we have really been teaching “leadership”…or is it something else?
I recently read an article that was published over 6 years ago by the incredibly insightful, and near genius author, Malcolm Gladwell. I came across the article while reading his book, “What the Dog Saw” (Know that once I am finished, it is headed straight for the Recommended Reading List). The story of “Million-Dollar Murray” told of one Murray Barr, a former Marine that was a homeless alcoholic to say the least and to make an incredible understatement. This article inspired the article of mine that you are now reading. The article is available for full reading, at no charge HERE. There were a couple of specific mentions in the article that made me feel like, while there were additional influencing circumstances… Murray’s outstanding qualities were credited to the Marine Corps. But the Marine Corps’ influence on him may have also been his demise.
Murray’s story is tragic, and while I can’t come close to doing Mr. Gladwell’s article justice by making a summary, I would like to call attention to one of the closing paragraph’s that struck home with me, and I will never forget:
“You know, when he was monitored by the system, he did fabulously. He would be on house arrest and he would get a job and he would save money and he would go to work every day, and he wouldn’t drink. He would do all the things he was supposed to do. There are some people who can be very successful members of society if someone monitors them. Murray needed someone to be in charge of him.”
What really struck me, is when I read this out-loud to my wife, herself a veteran Marine-reservist of six years, her immediate reply as if she were finishing the missing sentence from Gladwell’s article was, “…He was a Marine.” It troubled me that her immediate response was so terribly correct… and I’ve spent the last week going over it in my head.
I’d like to borrow some insight from someone much smarter than me, Mr. John C. Maxwell. He seems to know a little bit about Leadership (Yes, that is sarcasm). I often compare the abilities of a “leader” to his “5 Levels of Leadership” model (for which he has composed one of my recommended reading books about). You can see the five-levels in graphical form there for visual reference as I mention them.
I don’t believe we, as in the Marine Corps, build leaders that are truly “Pinnacle” Leaders… Leaders that can develop other leaders that then can also replicate the development of more, leader-producing-leaders. I believe we train to Positional and Performance leadership, and fewer military leaders than we’d like to admit actually see the levels of Reproduction and even fewer to the level of a Pinnacle-Leader. We just rarely develop leader-producing-leaders. However, we do exceptionally well at developing leaders who can replicate accountability. Military leadership is much better at establishing strict followers of, well, followership than developers of leadership.
The missing link is that being a “leader” is easy when in middle management, which every “leader” in the military is at, to some varying degree. You have subordinates that you have to lead towards a common goal, consistently trying to achieve and set higher standards. But in the military, as in many large businesses and structures, a leader with subordinates is also subordinate to somebody. And that “leader” is kept on track, constantly reminded of their responsibilities and to whom they are accounted to. Under this structure, it makes it a bit easier to give the illusion that an organization is producing leaders. But I believe it is more accurate to say the organization is producing followers, exceptional followers, that can perform when given someone or something to be held accountable to or for.
The problem with Murray Barr, as is the case with many Marines, and veterans of other services, is that they are not only taught, but rigidly enforced and have engrained the willingness to perform to exceptional standards when they have someone to hold them ACCOUNTABLE to those standards. But what happens to those that were never taught how to hold THEMSELVES accountable to their own standards? What happens when a team, squad, or platoon leader isn’t there to remind them that certain behavior is expected of them? One may argue that any job will provide a manager or boss that will tell you what you are accountable for. This is correct and any good boss or manager should be clearly communicating to their employees what is expected of them. The difference is, in the military, you aren’t just told what you will be held accountable for from 9-5, but every aspect of your life is the responsibility of your senior leaders. They hold you accountable for everything from the smell of your breath to the cleanliness of your rifle.
Junior Military members that never make it into a seasoned, experienced, and truly Leadership-bearing, leadership role never learn leadership beyond BEING accountable to someone and actually understand the how, why, and need for HOLDING oneself and others accountable. Junior leaders and junior members of the military never really learn to wholly understand the need for accountability and development for the sake of being able to make the right decision… or if I may quote myself, in order to, “Do what you’re supposed to do”. This argument could be extrapolated into the problem with over regulating laws that take away the populations learning ability to decide what is right or wrong morally and ethically, versus “knowing” something is right or wrong because it is legal or illegal. That is a debate for another place, and another blog.
Learning, Leading & Life 
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