I mentioned a quote in my article, “A Brief Case on Synergy… It IS About Practice.” Well here it is, accurately represented.
Posted from my Droid RAZR
A Brief Case on Synergy… It IS About ‘Practice’
A new song by artist, Don Trip, has been gaining popularity on Youtube and SiriusXM satellite radio [CLICK HERE to watch/listen]. I can’t speak for broadcast radio being as I don’t really listen to it often. The song, “Allen Iverson” includes sound bites from a interview with Mr. Iverson in regards to his tribulations with the NBA, and general growth as a man just like any of us. I can relate to much of the song and the intent and message both the artist, and Iverson convey. However, I do feel that perhaps, Iverson doesn’t really understand why “practice” is important, and contrary to his statement, he view does “shut it to the side”.
First, let me make a ‘seat-of-the-pants claim’ and say that there is a big issue I see with the NBA today, version the NBA in the days of the Dream Team: There are too many skilled individuals, and not enough team-members. I admit that the individual skills of players have created high tempos and high demands on the requirements to make it into the NBA. However, in sort of a capitalistic way, and exemplified by the constant desire for more “compensation” the boycott displayed, too many players are more worried about how they can market themselves, than how they can build a team. It seems in a rush to be a “star player”, individual players lose sight of their team in search of “me”. This is what Stephen R. Covey would describe as the opposite of synergy.
There will never be another Dream Team, another Michael Jordan, another Magic era Lakers, not another TEAM until players realize that their individual skills will never add up to the value created when individuals drop their personal marketing campaign, pick up their TEAM campaign, and create more from synergistic interaction amongst players. Why were the Giants able to beat the higher-ranked Patriots (Not once but TWICE in the Super Bowl?) It wasn’t individual talent. And inversely… why did the New York Knicks win 10 straight w/ Jeremy Lin starting, in C. Anthony’s absence and then lose the first two games upon their star players return? I’ll give a hint, look at the other players’ stats when Lim was on the court, vs. the other players’ stats when Anthony was on the court… A team will play better as a WHOLE than any collection of individuals.
So, on to my point about Iverson’s argument about “practice”… The “star” player MUST be at practice! ALL players must be at practice. Not just for himself, but for the TEAM! In the military, a squad is not going to prepare for a war, or deployment, or an operation, and then have their squad leader show up only for the day of execution b/c their squad leader is already so great he doesn’t need practice. The team needs all parts, to come together, to train together, to be a TEAM together. Forgive me for not being able to quote correctly, but I saw the following mounted in the gym, on a poster:
“Everyone has the will to survive in battle; it is the will to prepare for that battle that few possess.”
Being a leader and being a part of something greater than yourself is not about being the best at what you do; it’s about making those around you the best at what they do. They too can reproduce the same, and together any team or organization will produce results FAR beyond those imaginable by any, single, person.
I look forward to feedback and welcome constructive dialogue at all times. Please feel free to share with your friends and subscribe to be informed of the latest contributions to LifebyDamien.com!
Active listening… No really, actually listening.
It’s been too long since my last article, so I’ve decided to squeeze one in from my WP app for Android. I’ve already mentioned my reading of, The Third Alternative, by Stephen Covey. A big part in the 7 Habits, as well as the 3rd Alternative is “seeking you”. There are always, at least, two involved in any conversation and it is imperative to truly understand what the concerns of the other person are. Active listening is essential to obtain a true understanding of these concerns. I’ve remembered a time where I didn’t realize I was using any particular method, but active listening produced relationship changing results.
In 2006, while deployed to Fallujah, Iraq, I noticed that one of my Marines and best friends, was acting out of sorts. Something was bothering him and it was visible in his mannerisms, quality of work, and the look in his eyes that he couldn’t hide. I knew I had to talk to him, but didn’t know what to use to get him to talk about what was going on. I soon found, he didn’t need me to talk to him. He needed to talk to me…. I just needed to listen.
We sat down, and I tried to open the small talk. Dead end. I asked questions trying to get something I could then ask follow on questions… Dead end. Then I looked at him and said, “Charlie, what’s going on?” He just looked at me, then looked away. I insisted, “C’mon, what’s going on…here, home, outer space? I know you have something going on inside and it’s killing me to see you deal with it on your own. It’s just me and you here, What’s going on?”
He started talking. At first about random things that were frustrating, “why are we even here (Iraq)? I mean, c’mon Bert (my nick name), what are we really doing here?” I responded, “Well, I don’t think that is what you really want the answer to…but it is clear what we are doing here seems insignificant compared to what you feel you should be dealing with. Where do you feel like you need to be?” He looked at me, his eyes welled up… I could tell he felt vulnerable, but he trusted me. The tears came, and it all came out. He was truly concerned about some concern-worthy issues back home. My throat gets tight and my eyes still water remembering the occasion.
I could have “gone after him” and talked at him, telling him how he needed to fix his attitude and step up his performance (typical Marine counseling session). But I never was a fan of that approach, and I knew he didn’t need to hear anything from me… He needed to know someone wanted to hear from him. When it comes to active listening and being an effective communicator and leader, I had a whole new door to communication opened for me. Not to mention a deeper connection with one of my best friends.
Posted from my Droid RAZR
Empowerment and Reivew
“Empowerment” is another one of those key terms that business leaders like to refer to. It is also used freely in military instruction when referring to influencing an organized group towards a common goal (leadership). It is also one of those words that has a million caveats, what-ifs, how-tos, and no real black and white instruction to be read and understood. As is every other article I’ve composed, I’m going to give my views and experiences on empowerment, and add what I feel is an important, and reinforcing supplement: Review and personal reflection.
Telling someone that you have the genuine confidence in them that they can achieve something is almost always a sure way to get results. We learned that when we were told, “you can do it, I know it” the first time we balanced ourselves out on our bicycles without our training wheels. I know I personally am more likely to achieve something I don’t think I could if someone else told me they thought I could, and then set me on course to do so. Even more convincing is when I know I am being counted on to accomplish that task, or reach that goal. Therein lies the difference between encouragement and empowerment. You can encourage someone with confidence to achieve previously doubtful goals. In order to empower someone, you must not only encourage, but place them in control of something that is being relied on by more than just that person’s desire for accomplishment. They have to be given something that they know will be looked at as a product of their efforts, and then encouraged to “show us what you’ve got”.
There are two specific examples of my professional career where I felt the effects of empowerment as the subject who was empowered. First, was when as a junior Corporal in the Marine Corps, I was placed in a billet well above my pay grade and assigned to those with 5+ more years of experience than I had at the time. I was firing on all cylinders just to tread water at first. A month into it, my Master Gunnery Sergeant, the highest ranking enlisted Marine in my trade had a talk with me. He asked if I felt I need to have a Staff Non-Commissioned Officer assigned to my section (which rated 2 of them). If I did, he would get one assigned. But he then told me that he would be interested to see how I did in the role… and if I was up for the challenge, the “shop” was mine. He said he didn’t expect me to be an expert to start, but expected me to do my best and he had confidence in me either way. I asked for the chance. The personal drive I had to be the absolute best at anything that pertained to the job I had or Marines I was leading was palpable.
The second example was while I was deployed to Iraq. I was acting as a chief instructor for enhanced marksmanship. My company Executive Officer (XO) and my section Gunnery Sergeant (direct boss) said I was responsible for running a 2 day range, and that I would be instructing to subordinates, peers and senior ranked Marines that had not been introduced to the Enhanced Marksmanship Program. I felt their confidence in me, and there was nothing I was afraid of more than making the XO or Gunnery Sergeant look bad by giving me the chance. I had to prove they made the right decision.
I later was told by the XO that some of the senior Marines from the range I instructed approached him directly to mention their appreciation for the range and quality of instruction. I was floored! Then I was surprised… The XO sat me down with a video recording of the range and all the informal lectures I gave as a part of the shooting package. He told me I received a lot of compliments, but, he wanted me to see what they thought was good. He also wanted me to see myself, and see what I thought I could do better. He provided his insight, but he gave me the chance to review myself. I didn’t comprehend what he was doing at the time beyond face value… but I was able to reflect, and what he did was HUGE! I was motivated with empowerment, and then held accountable for my choices, good or bad, and encouraged to do it all over again! They told me they had confidence in me, that I was allowed and EXPECTED to learn at full speed, and that no matter how well I thought I ever did at anything, it could always be improved.
I never got to thank any of them for those lessons… but if they read this, they know who they are.
Master Guns, XO, Gunny,
Thank You.
Not Just a Number
- WTC Memorial Pond
I have talked about being genuine and sincere, and I have been pondering on something that I feel is an important part of demonstrating genuine and sincere concern for yourself, and others. Also, instead of describing something you are supposed to do, this time let’s talk about something you just aren’t supposed to do – Look at and manipulate numbers.
This has nothing to do with “cooking books” or white collar crime. Have you ever felt like just another patient at the doctor’s office, or even ER? Have you felt like just another cubicle space at work? Have you ever felt like just another seat on the bench or just didn’t have a seat at the table at all? If you have, then you know what I mean when I refer to being treating like a number; just another one of many to be dealt with. Let me say this, while scarcity can promote great levels of drive, nobody should have to feel like a number. Let me add, we all need to ensure we, ourselves, are not making anybody else feel like just another number.
Being a number is sort of inversely related to having a purpose. People who feel a sense of purpose don’t feel like numbers. People with a sense of purpose try harder because they know their impact matters. People who feel like numbers find excuses to perform at lesser levels because they feel their impact is negligible. I’ve been in both positions, and felt those feelings, in magnificent ways.
In a business sense, I can’t think of too many things that a business can do worse than treating their customers like numbers. It just tells customers, “We don’t really need you”. All over the globe, business mission statements have adapted, showing a sense of “care” or interest in each individual customer. Of course this has to be done within reason, but friendly customer service and simple human interaction with a genuine customer service associate is free. Customers will always have a choice, and with that, just a price and features list will not grab loyalty. When trying to gain and retain customers, especially in hard to differentiate product or service industries, no business can afford to tell a genuine customer, “We don’t really need you”.
In a personal sense, I’ve decided that I can make an impact in this arena and I encourage others to do the same. Whether at work with a co-worker or customer/client, or off-hours with family or friends – don’t make anyone feel like a number. I am going to be consciously working on my active listening skills, and ensuring whoever has my attention truly has my attention. I can tell when my kids try to tell me a story, and they fade off knowing I haven’t really listened… I intend on changing that. To me it might have come across as just another story. To my kids, maybe it was one of few precious times they got to have my attention and explain to me a little bit about their world for the day.
With that, I say be aware. Be aware that your interaction with someone may be “routine” for you, but to them the quality/content/frequency of the interaction may carry weight unseen to you. Every experience is a new one. If you feel yourself blowing somebody off, remember the last time you had horrible service as just another patient, or your proposal was dismissed as just another stack of paper to be read. The relationships I have valued most and have been so memorable to me all have one thing in common – that person never let me feel like a number. The relationships I have abhorred and made me the most frustrated all had one thing in common – I felt like just another number.
Leadership – Genuine and Sincere
- Regimental Combat Team 5 Memorial. February, 2007.
As I write this, I’ve spent nearly 9 years in one of the most highly acclaimed leadership producing organization in the world – The United States Marine Corps. During that time I have been given numerous opportunities to observe leaders of varying personalities and deliveries. I have also realized that leadership is EVERYWHERE, not only in the military, business, or parenting. Leadership just happens, and it is as sure as gravity. The quality of leadership, however, is quite susceptible to fluctuation. There are often common traits amongst good and great leaders, and in my experience there are two that are the most important: Good and great leaders are genuine and sincere.
While there is much to be said about learning from those who are successful and those who came before you; there is a fine line between emulating their founding qualities, and their specific actions. Some great leaders are great speakers and charismatic, others are quiet and reserved. Some prefer very structured algorithms and methods in which all things have a specific procedure, while others have a high tolerance of ambiguity and seem to take things as they come. A person can be a great leader, or even a “level 5 leader” as John Maxwell or Jim Collins would describe them with ANY of the previously described personalities. How? They are genuine and sincere. Their actions reflect alignment between their personalities and their delivery as a leader. One might argue that the leader must also produce results to be considered a successful leader, which is true… but a discussion for another time.
Lead others by being GREAT at being YOU! Yes, YOU! Don’t be that great leader you read about. He might be great because his natural strengths to speak and motivate people afforded him amazing leadership opportunities within the situations he was presented. If you are not a naturally strong leader, trying to mimic him will be clear to anyone you step in front of. Your followers will know you are not being you. Be genuine, and show your genuine intentions and concerns for the goals you intend for you and your followers to obtain. Don’t forget to communicate and deliver your genuine message in your OWN way. In order for anyone who chooses to follow you, they have to see your delivery and the way you present yourself are aligned with you as a genuine person. And yes, I did say “choose” to follow you, because just being in a position of leadership doesn’t mean your “followers” will follow you.
Communicate your genuine concerns by being SINCERE! It doesn’t take a degree in communications to know if a person isn’t committed to what they are saying. If a message is worth communicating, then it is worth paying due attention to who you are communicating to. Show them it matters to you that they understand what you are trying to say. You don’t even have to be a great speaker or communicator. The receiving party will be able to tell if you are being sincere. As Malcolm Gladwell points out in his book, “Blink”, all humans are able to read the international language of body language. Some better than others, but if you are not sincere, your body language will tattle-tell on you… and your intended recipient will tune you out. Repeated offenses of seeming insincere will tarnish your reputation and take away from any chances you have of being perceived as genuine.
Being genuine and sincere are two of the mandatory qualities of a leader that also translate into the qualities of just being a good person. I have been guilty of being insincere, and it is something I actively work on. For example, I am working on being a better active listener. How sincere and genuinely concerned would you believe me to be if I told you how much I care and that you can talk to me, but when you begin to talk to me you can tell I am thinking about other things, or you don’t have my full attention? You are probably going to think I am incredibly inconsiderate, regardless of my personality. Or even worse, if the person thinks highly of you, you may have just made them feel like their problem doesn’t matter – that they don’t matter. EVERYONE you lead matters! As a leader, your followers should never feel like they don’t matter. Thankfully I have identified that area as something for me to improve on… and believe me, there is always something to improve.
As a leader, if nothing else, be genuine and sincere. Don’t get me wrong, that is not all you have to do to be a successful leader by any means. There are many books by incredibly smart and well-practiced professionals that can tell you more about being a leader. As your proficiencies grow within your area of expertise, so will your credibility as a leader. Don’t stop there! Continue to improve, not just yourself but those that follow you (that is an entirely additional blog…).
For those interested, I have provided a short list of books on leadership that I highly recommend (and yes I have read them). You just may find some concepts and ideas in my blog to sound strangely familiar. I have linked their Amazon.com listings if you click on the book title:
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
Good to Great by Jim Collins (more about business but plenty of insights on leadership qualities)
Great by Choice by Jim Collins
Level 5 Leadership by John C. Maxwell
It’s Your Ship by Michael Abrashoff
…If you have read this far, humor me: Reread all but the last paragraph, and replace the word “Leader” with “Husband/Father” and the word “Follower” with “Wife/Children/Family”. Think about it… it’s funny how that works.
Learning, Leading & Life 
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